Demand Cleanup of the Susquehanna River

Posted on May 29, 2013 by alyssa

The Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) recently discovered that two of four water sampling sites along the Susquehanna River were severely polluted. Despite these findings, the DEP has failed to designate the river as impaired. An “impaired” designation would propel cleanup efforts forward. Without an “impaired” designation, the river’s pollutants may never be cleaned up at all. Demand cleanup of the Susquehanna River’s pollutants now before it’s beyond repair.

A DEP report, which was also approved by the federal Environmental Protection Agency, noted that the quality of the Susquehanna River’s water doesn’t meet the Clean Water Act’s standards to justify an impairment designation. This report came as a shock to local environmental groups, the Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission and Chesapeake Bay Foundation, because the DEP’s prior investigation corroborated evidence that the river is in bad shape.

Smallmouth bass have been dying in unprecedented numbers in the Susquehanna River. Not only do the fish populations affect recreational fishing, they are also indicative of larger issues involving human food consumption and public swimming areas.

“Despite this setback, we will continue to work collaboratively with DEP and others to collect the necessary data to prove by whatever measurement necessary that the river is impaired,” commented John Arway, executive director of the Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission. “Our anglers and the smallmouth bass that remain in the river deserve our full attention while we continue to debate their fate.”

Ultimately, the DEP’s report has delayed cleanup efforts for at least another two years. Given the level of toxicity in the river, waiting another two years could very well make the river irreparable. Sign my petition to urge the Pennsylvania DEP to reconsider the evidence and designate the Susquehanna River as impaired so cleanup efforts can begin.

How to Cheat the System & Dip Into Costa Rica’s Hot Springs

Posted on May 23, 2013 by alyssa

Few things in this world feel better than soothing, perfect-temperature hot springs after a grueling bike trip in a ninety-degree tropical rain forest. When I visited the Arenal Volcano area in Costa Rica, I discovered one of those “few better things”: FREE hot springs.

When I was planning my Costa Rican adventure, I was bombarded with dozens of search results for hot spring resorts throughout the country. Hot springs have been popular since the 1800’s for their therapeutic and relaxation benefits. Many people claim that our minds and bodies react positively with the heat and minerals contained in natural hot springs. The mysterious waters’ sulfate, bicarbonate, calcium, magnesium, potassium, sodium, and lithium components supposedly heal everything from chronic pain to skin disease to depression.

Thanks to an abundance of volcanoes, Costa Rica’s landscape is riddled with underground hot springs that can be found in every size, shape, and temperature imaginable. Unfortunately, the tourism industry has commercialized the hell out of these rare and natural phenomenons. High-end resorts have channeled the warm, flowing waters onto their properties to offer luxurious packages with private nooks and martini bars. Kid-friendly water parks have installed enormous water slides to cater towards families looking to shut the kids up for awhile.

But those fruity martinis and quiet kids don’t come without a price. Many of Costa Rica’s hot springs resorts start with a sticker price of over $100 per person. Sure, La Fortuna’s Baldi Hot Springs Hotel and Spa boasts of twenty-five natural mineral water pools at twelve different temperatures under exuberant waterfalls. However, a day pass to simply take a dip drains $104 from your wallet. A day pass for the first commercial hot springs to be established in the Arenal Volcano area, Tabacón Grand Spa Thermal Resort, will set you back a whopping $126.

As a traveler on a writer’s budget, I began to think that hot springs were simply out of my reach. Then much to my delight, I received a tip from the owner of Hotel Villas Vista Arenal, where I had made reservations for a couple days. The tip was that if you walk across the road from the fancy Tabacón resort, you could walk down a hill and access the hot springs for free. After an uphill-both-ways style bike ride around the Arenal Volcano, we parked our bikes by a gate along the road and went to scope it out for ourselves.

As you walk along an unassuming path down a gentle hill, you begin to hear the rush of water and see the steam rising into the air. There were a few tourists and a couple locals hanging around nearby, but I can’t say that the area was crowded in the least. Since this was my very first hot springs experience, I was surprised to find that the temperature of the water was perfect. Cooler than the hot tub at the Xport Fitness, yet warmer than any outdoor body of water I’d ever encountered.

Another perk to these free “secret” hot springs is that it’s totally unregulated. Living in the U.S., I’m used to my every move being policed. But if you want to crack open a couple Imperials while taking a dip here, no problemo.

We full immersed ourselves in the water after discretely changing into bathing suits behind a bush. The current flowed at a moderate pace, but the waters felt nonthreatening and as sanitary as you could hope for in nature.

I’m sure the fancy resorts are nice and all, but I’d recommend these nameless, free public hot springs to anyone visiting the volcano area. The best way to get to them is by finding Tabacón and walking across the street. If you’re reading my blog, then I automatically like you, you deserve to get this insider tip, and I hope you take advantage of it. Although I cannot confirm with any degree of certainty that Costa Rica’s hot springs stimulated my circulation, boosted my immune system, or detoxified my poor liver, it sure was relaxing and unforgettable.

Pictographs v. Petroglyphs v. Graffiti

Posted on May 17, 2013 by alyssa

No, it’s not a Supreme Court case, but it does raise an interesting debate.

Before traveling to Montana and Wyoming, I hadn’t the slightest clue what a pictograph or a petroglyph was. But as a resident of Chicago, I knew damn well what graffiti was. After a couple self-guided tours, I now like to think of myself as somewhat of a pictograph/petroglyph expert.

The Cliff’s Notes, you ask? Petroglyphs are carvings and pictographs are paintings.

Although they’re both types of rock art, petroglyphs are carved into an exposed rock surface and pictographs are painted onto those surfaces. I saw my first pictographs at Pictograph Cave State Park in Billings, Montana. Some prehistoric hunters used to camp in this cave and left us something to remember them by. More than 100 pictographs and artifacts have been found in the cave, the oldest being 2,000+ years old.

The state park is quite small compared to most in the area and has just one hiking trail. However, the lack of trails is made up for by the abundance of educational plaques along the way. You’ll need to pay the friendly ranger $5 if your car has an out-of-state plate before making your way up the well-paved, wheelchair accessible trail.

There are actually two caves at Pictograph State Park: the Pictograph Cave and the Ghost Cave. The trail guide details twenty-five points of interest and historical antidotes along the way. An interpretive plaque at the entrance of the Pictograph Cave helps you locate red paintings on the wall. Although the paintings are understandably faded, you can definitely still make out images of bison, rifles, and weird crying babies flying on balloons.

Archaeological digs have indicated that the Ghost Cave, which features creepy, protruding boulders that sort of look like ghosts, was inhabited between 200 and 500 years ago. The Crow Tribe of Native Americans referred to this area “Alahpalaaxwaalaatuua,” which is a mouthful and literally translates to “where there is ghost writing.”

I checked out my first petroglyphs at Legend Rock outside of Thermopolis, Wyoming. Legend Rock is a 400-meter long cliff with more than 92 prehistoric petroglyph panels and over 300 carved figures. The informational brochures say that the carvings were made over the course of time between 11,000 to 100 years ago.

Now, you’re getting an inside tip because Wyoming doesn’t exactly advertise this state park. To visit the petroglyph site, you have to fill out a registration form at the Hot Springs State Park or the Thermopolis Chamber of Commerce, where you rent out an actual key. You actually have to get out of your car and unlock a huge gate to get into the park. And you’ll likely have the park all to yourself while you’re there too.

The interpretive trail brochure that you pick up with the key provides diagrams and descriptions of what you’re supposed to see at each marker. Since petroglyphs are carved into the rock, they’re much easier to see than their painted counterparts. A variety of anthromorphs and zoomorphs line the cliff walls, often depicting creatures with far too many heads and arms. There are fifteen markers along the cliff, which are spaced closely together along a dirt walking path.

While making your way from one marker to the next, you can’t help but notice more “recent additions” on the cliff wall. In 1989, a small turtle was carved near Marker #12. The initials W.H., R.H., and M.C., which represent people who died in World War I, can be found near Marker #14. A carving that reads, “No Trojans Allowed” was created by a high school student on a field trip near Marker #15. The state park pegs these recent additions as vandalism and graffiti. But are they really?

By definition, both petroglyphs and pictographs are vandalism and graffiti. People have been defacing rock structures for thousands of years, and after a certain amount of time, the graffiti is considered to be historical art.

Where do you draw the line between cultural expression and kids being disrespectful? How many years must pass before “No Trojans Allowed” is considered a legitimate petroglyph?

And so the “Pictographs v. Petroglyphs v. Graffiti” debate continues…

Protect Ecuador’s Forests from Destructive Mining

Posted on May 15, 2013 by alyssa

Ecuador’s government is proposing a plan to build a large scale copper pit mine right in the middle of one of the world’s most diverse ecosystems. The potential economic gains for the people of Ecuador and Chile pale in comparison to the lasting environmental damage and strain on the farming communities presented to this region. Protect Ecuador’s forests from destructive mining and preserve habitats that exist nowhere else.

The enormous mining project would operate in the Intag region, which features small farms, low-income communities, and a lack of economic development. As developers have noticed, the Intag region is also rich in copper and gold mineral deposits. However, the ecosystem in this region is home to nearly 20% of the world’s plant species and as much of the world’s bird diversity.

If mining efforts in the Intag region are approved, native habitats will be destroyed and the air and water quality will dramatically decrease. Toxic waste will infect the food chain, and climate change will become inevitable. If approved, the open pit mine projects will contaminate the air, water, and soil quality of the forest, making it unlivable for species who have nowhere else to go. Mining in these small, rural communities will also bring corruption, disease, inflation.

Local environmental groups need our support to purchase 600 hectares of existing forest land and abandoned agricultural land to build the reserve. The reforestation efforts will not only preserve native species, but also boost the local economy and prevent labor migration to nearby cities. Please sign my petition to support the efforts of the Pucará Community Cloud Forest Reserve to purchase existing forest land and build a habitat corridor.

What’s the Deal with Inflatable Kayaks?

Posted on May 14, 2013 by alyssa

I’ve always wanted a kayak, but in Chicago, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Although I took whitewater classes a few years ago and I’ve paddled around my fair share of waterways, I’m not the most experienced kayaker either. So when I bought an inflatable one with REI dividends, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

The weapon of choice was the Friday Harbor Adventure Tandem Inflatable Kayak…primarily, because it was only $199.95. And after combining my boyfriend’s dividend rewards and my own, it was essentially free. Compared to any other inflatable kayak on the market, the price is a steal. Now the real question was….did it work?

The big perk of this kayak is its mobility. It defies all kayak logic and folds up into a small square, weighing barely over twenty pounds. It took up far less room than all our camping gear in the Rola hitch tray cargo bag.

We made our first kayaking attempt at the Big Horn National Forest, near Buffalo, in Wyoming. After many days of snow and below-freezing temperatures, we were finally blessed with a 50-degree day with sunshine and no wind. The hand pump that we bought to inflate the kayak was a pretty standard one, but it proved to be less of a pain-in-the-ass than expected. It inflates on both the “up” and the “down” pumps, so inflating goes twice as fast. There are, however, five different sections to pump: left side, right side, bottom, seat #1, and seat #2. But believe me, the inflating process does get quicker and easier with practice.

We cast off on a shallow beach at the edge of the Big Horn Canyon. Since it was our first attempt, we opted to stay within the designated swimming area in case chaos should strike. Much to my surprise and relief, there was no chaos whatsoever!

The 230 cm paddles we picked up proved to be a perfect length for this particular kayak…if you’re 5’8″ anyway. The bottom and sides didn’t leak air, and the only water that got into the boat was from our dripping paddles. There isn’t a ton of leg room in the front or back seat, but there was enough for two 5’8″ people to sit pretty comfortably for a couple hours. Most importantly, it didn’t get punctured, we didn’t tip over, and no one got hypothermia!

My boyfriend and I took the kayak out for a second boating day at Bear Butte State Park, near Sturgis, in South Dakota. Attempt #2 was just as successful, however we felt the effects of the wind more that time. Since it’s an inflatable, the kayak’s direction is more affected by strong wind currents than a traditional kayak would be.

So without further ado…

PROS:

Easy to pack for road trips and even plane trips
Way more affordable than other traditional and inflatable kayaks
Lightweight and reasonably durable, at least under moderate river/weather conditions
Tandem design lets you chat with your sweetheart as you row
Easy to dry off after use
Bungee straps on both ends to secure your dry bag
Handles on each end make it easy to carry when inflated and to get in and out of the water

CONS:

Hard to steer in moderate to high winds
Not a lot of leg room, especially in the backseat
Takes a little while to inflate, until you get the hang of it
Pretty slow in speed and not the greatest tracking

RECOMMENDATIONS:

Don’t use it when the wind is more than 10 mph
Best used in lakes or slow flowing rivers, best with Class I or II
Get paddling gloves for cold water, your hands will get wet when water drips off the paddles
Use the drain hole with plug to remove excess water, if a good amount gets in
Use for lazy, recreational fun until you live somewhere cool enough to justify splurging on a traditional, fancy-schmancy whitewater one

Flying through the Jungle, with the Greatest of Ease

Posted on May 10, 2013 by alyssa

I love rock climbing, but I hate roller coasters. I love canyoneering, but I have no desire to go skydiving. Outdoor adventures are my thing…daredevil thrills are not. With that being said, I wasn’t sure how much I would really enjoy zip lining. But I figured if I was ever going to try it, it was going to be in Costa Rica.

If you search for “zip lining in Costa Rica,” you’ll be inundated with dozens of sales pitches. Apparently, I’m not the first person who thought zip lining through the jungle would be a cool experience. Aside from biased recommendations from other vacationers, it’s impossible to know which zip line company to choose. After a bit of research, you realize that there are tons of competitive adventure companies in Costa Rica and that they all charge about the same amount. My choice was based on location convenience and online reviews.

Since I didn’t book a rental car, I was at the mercy of the Costa Rican public bus system…which surprisingly exceed my expectations. Although the buses were clean, safe, and on time, it always took a long time to get from Point A to Point B. Arenal’s EcoGlide canopy tour set me back $55 USD, which was a reasonable rate for such a touristy town.

Just minutes after checking into our cabin in Arenal, Eco Glide’s van pulled up and shuffled me into the back. A retired Canadian couple rode along side me in the van. I mentally reassured myself that if they could zip line, then so could I.

Unlike some other adventure companies, the sole business of EcoGlide is zip lining. So it made sense that they had the equipment setup and training instruction down to a science. Unexpectedly, there were about twelve zip lines and about twelve people in our group, mostly “middle-agers gone wild” escaped from Florida.

The “zip professionals” geared the group up with helmets, harnesses, a sliding glove, and common-sense advice. Most of the staff spoke broken English, but I was still glad I’d studied key Spanish phrases on an iPhone app the night before. EcoGlide’s canopy tour is divided into two sections. The first section had eight cables, with lengths between ten and 110 meters, and the second section had five cables, with lengths between 100 and 430 meters. Given my limited zip knowledge, I had never expected to be riding on cables for over two hours.

When I stepped to the edge of my first platform, I felt a huge pit in my stomach. Although I’m not afraid of heights, free fall drops have always made me squeamish. Much to my relief, there are no “drops” in zip lining! I never got stuck in the middle of a zip, I never got tangled up, and I kept my eyes open to take mental snapshots of the colorful landscape whizzing by. After a few zips, I was even trusted to wear a fancy camera around my neck and snap a few real photos.

The one part of the experience that I said “no, thank you” to was the Tarzan Swing. After watching a couple poor saps free fall into the abyss, I knew I’d have no regrets about safely hiking to the bottom to listen to their blood-curdling screams echo through the forest.

EcoGlide’s friendly, encouraging staff never made me feel like a scared little wimp, and they even handed out complimentary beer after the last zip. That was a well-deserved Imperial, thank you very much. I don’t see myself becoming a professional zip liner anytime soon, nor do I expect to pay good money to do it again unless the scenery offers something dramatically different. However, I’m glad I tried it, I’m glad I waited for Costa Rica to try it, and I’m glad I lived to tell the tale.

A Tale of Four Breweries in Billings

Posted on May 8, 2013 by alyssa

Billings, Montana is more than just a pit stop on the way to Yellowstone. As I’ve learned first hand, it’s also a great place to find a good variety of local brews. Despite a population barely over 100,000, Billings has four breweries in walking distance of each other.

In fact, the official Montana travel site, boasts about having the only unofficial walking brewery tour in the state. Since everything is within a one-mile radius, they suggest making the rounds before dinner with stops at the Western Heritage Center and Yellowstone Art Museum along the way.

So what makes the breweries in Billings stand out from those in other areas? I’ve never seen more different types of brewery environments crammed together in the same city. From noisy punk rock warehouses to upscale restaurants to auto repair shop kegs, Billings’ brewers have mastered the art of variety.

Angry Hank’s Brewing Co.

I briefly glanced at an auto repair shop while driving down the dusty, industrial main drag in Billings.”Complete tune-up & carb. repair,” said one sign. “Brake repair,” said another. A sign at the edge of the parking lot said, “Angry Hank’s.”

This was the first brewery I visited in Billings. The tap room, which was situated inside of an abandoned auto shop, was only open from 4-8pm Mondays through Saturdays. I later learned from a local that Montana law allows breweries to operate without a liquor license as long as they maintain very restricted hours and limit the amount of beer served per person.

There were a few people sitting at tables inside a wooden fence patio that aimed to make the auto shop tap room more inviting. There’s no denying that the patio did bring a friendlier vibe than the staff. There was a good number of people hanging out in the tap room and I felt all eyes on me as I walked in. Clearly, I wasn’t recognized as the local girl next door.

Angry Hanks doesn’t do samplers or flights, so don’t bother asking for one. The bartender agreed to give us a couple of tastes to see what we wanted a pint or growler of though. I tried the Anger Management, Imperial Russian Stout, and Raspberry Wheat.

The Raspberry Wheat was tart, bitter, and ultra-light…as expected. The Imperial Stout was good, but wasn’t served in growlers because of the 8.5% alcohol content. What a pity! Therefore, I settled on the Anger Management for a growler fill. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but the orange-infused Belgian wheat was smooth and refreshing. Plus, it kept the anger of Angry Hanks alive all the way back to the cheap motel room.

Montana Brewing Co.

In stark contract to Angry Hanks, the Montana Brewing Company was reminiscent of brew pubs back in Chicago. Although the brewery was built in 1994, the exterior and interior of the building seemed brand new. And although it was the middle of the day, the brew pub, which was located in the downtown shopping district, pulled in a decently sized crowd.

Also unlike Angry Hanks, this brewery promoted its samplers. I tried an eight-sample flight of the MBC Golden Ale, MBC Wheat, Pomegranate Wheat, Smoked Rye, MBC Amber, Custer’s Last Stout, and Beartooth Espresso Porter.

I tend to be partial towards breweries that go beyond the standard brews and try a few outside-the-box flavors.Three of MBC’s brews met my approval in this regard. Although I wanted to like the Pomegranate Wheat more than I did, it was still unique. It actually smelled and tasted like pomegranate. The brew had a milky color and a tart aftertaste. I didn’t like the Pomegranate Wheat enough to get more of a pint of it, but I did appreciate it for its novelty.

The Smoked Rye, however, was phenomenal and I promptly picked up a growler of it. Unlike many smoky beers, it had a perfect amount of smokiness. Since I was just starting out on an extended camping trip, this brew fit my lifestyle and brought back memories of roasting s’mores around the fire.

I also picked up a growler of the Beartooth Espresso Porter. It was evident that the brewers used real espresso beans, and it was delicious from start to finish. It wasn’t overly bitter, in a black coffee sort of way, but it definitely put anything from Starbucks to shame. Although I didn’t dine at MBC, I couldn’t help but notice their extensive American fare menu.

Carter’s Brewing Co.

Carter’s Brewing Company was somewhat of a cross between the previous two breweries in terms of atmosphere. But unlike the other two, a punk rock band was setting up in the casino area.

Located in the warehouse district and along the train tracks, Carter’s had a hard rock biker bar feel. The most memorable part of Carter’s was the mind-shattering acoustics. Despite the number of drum sets sitting around, the bands had yet to go on stage. However, the sound of people yelling over each other bounced off the walls in a most deafening way.

The brewery’s seating area featured long, wooden tables that were surrounded by beer barrels and brewing vats. It was a cramped, bare bones tap room, but the staff was friendly. Carter’s also does samplers (of four beers each) which include their many seasonal beers. In fact, they have just as many seasonal beers as they do flagship beers.

The Farmhouse Ale La Grisette has a fancy name, but not a fancy taste. It was pretty standard, yet well done and smooth. I wanted to like the Maple Flapjack Brown Ale more than I did. However, it did have a pretty good maple smell, a soft finish, and it was better than your average brown ale.

The Double Truck Red Ale was way too hoppy. Not even the 8% alcohol and slight creaminess could counteract the pure hop fest. The last beer in my sampler was the Carter the Great Imperial Stout. Similar to the maple ale, it had a soft taste that was buttery at the finish. It wasn’t terribly unique, but it was better than most imperial stouts I’ve had.

Yellowstone Brewing Co.

Everyone has a story about the one that got away. And for me, that one was the Yellowstone Brewing Company. Unlike others in Billings, this brewery was closed on Sunday…which was the only day I had available to stop by.

I heard good things about Yellowstone Brewing from Carter’s Brewing, which also sold some of their beers. While chatting with the bartender at Carters, it became clear that the smaller, industrial breweries (like Carter’s and Yellowstone) had a certain distaste for corporate sellouts (like Montana Brewing Co.).

Although I missed my chance to visit Yellowstone Brewing, I was later able to pick up some of their bottled beer in other Montana towns. The Huckleweizen celebrates the state’s obsession with the huckleberry, which grows in the vicinity. It’s very light and tart…good in small doses on a hot, summer day. The Black Widow Oatmeal Stout was a solid beer that had a good balance between heaviness and flavor.

All in all, Billings reminded me that just because I’d seen one brewery, it doesn’t mean I’ve seen them all. If I would have only stopped at one of Billings’ breweries, I would have assumed that that was representative of the city. Even though I don’t exactly associate Montana with diversity, Billings’ tasting establishments proved to be an exception to the rule.

Art from the Road

Posted on May 2, 2013 by alyssa

I am an absolutely terrible artist. You may have heard about a project that I was a founding member of back in 2008, Free Crappy Portraits. The purpose of Free Crappy Portraits (FCP) was to draw strangers in public (with or against their will) and/or from the Internet based on photos they submitted. We kept our clients’ expectations low and never disappointed!

The only art class I took in college was art history. I signed up for a park district painting class a couple years ago and the instructor simply stopped showing up. Although I am a lost cause to the art world, I found my place creating really bad portraits for strangers at no cost.

Today, I carry around a sketch book wherever I go on my travels. Although I my technique is embarrassing and I have no sense of perspective, I love to draw the versions of things that I see along the road. My recent travels to South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana were no exception. Here are just a few of the awesomely terrible works of road trip art from my sketchbook.

I call this one “Mt. Gnomemore”. After walking around Mt. Rushmore with my trusty travel gnome, I felt that the roles should be reversed. I think that this is a truly brilliant idea and after Googling it, I am convinced that it is unique to my creation. This may just be my ticket to fame and fortune.

Created with oil pastels, this is my “Welcome to Montana’ drawing. As we crossed the border from Wyoming into Montana, we were greeted with cows on the side of the road, lakes and rivers in the foreground, mountains in the background, and adorable cabins along the roadside. A night of peaceful camping awaited us across the border.

This colored pencil sketch is called, “Creatures in the Campground.” We camped at Mammoth Campground in Yellowstone National Park for five nights. Due to the winter season, it was the only campground open at that time and the temperatures often dipped below 20-degrees.

Bison and elk regularly roamed about the campground, incredibly close to our tent and Jeep. Although I was initially terrified to sleep next to these wild creatures (who would surely attack at any moment), I eventually came to trust that they wouldn’t mess with me if I didn’t mess with them.

Prior to starting this road trip, we bought an inflatable kayak and all the necessary accessories. Although the temperatures were almost always cold and the winds strong, one particular day in the Big Horn National Forest of Wyoming proved to be perfect for boating.

Our first kayaking attempt in the Big Horn Canyon was successful. We didn’t tip over, the kayak didn’t get punctured, and no one got hypothermia. This above photo depicts a painting that I completed while staying in a remote, snowed-in cabin at 9,000+ elevation.

Although I take travel notes and write throughout my trips, my crappy artwork helps me to remember things the way that I first saw them. Although my drawings and paintings could easily be mistake for a five-year-old’s, I love flipping through my sketchbook and making fun of myself from time to time while reminiscing.

Even if you’re an avid photographer or writer, give it a try. What you see in your mind’s eye might provide a more lasting memory than any snapshot could show or words describe. For whatever reason, it does for me.

How to Drink Your Way Through Iowa

Posted on May 1, 2013 by alyssa

How do you top off a trip to visit the world’s largest gnome in Ames, Iowa? By celebrating with lots of drinks…of course!

There are six long, grueling hours between Ames, Iowa and Chicago. Fortunately, there are plenty of places to stop along the way.

Without further ado, here’s a road map (in photos) of how you too can drink your way through Iowa. Don’t mind the monkeys and gnomes…they’re of legal age and they can probably handle their liquor better than you can.

1. Court Avenue Restaurant and Brewing Company, Des Moines, IA.

2. Exile Brewing Company, Des Moines, Iowa

3. John Ernest Vineyard and Winery, Tama, IA

4. Third Base Brewing Company, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

5. Ackerman Winery, Amana Colonies, Iowa

6. Millstream Brewing Company, Amana Colonies, Iowa

7. Backpocket Brewing Company, Coralville, Iowa

We all knew that a lot of booze was consumed in Iowa, but who knew that so much of it was made within its borders? Not I, said the drunkard.

A Visit to the World’s Largest Concrete Gnome – Ames, Iowa

Posted on April 30, 2013 by alyssa

His name was Elwood and he lived in Ames, Iowa. I had dreamed about the day that he and I would someday meet.

No, I’m not cheating on my boyfriend. Elwood is the world’s largest concrete gnome. And I had become obsessed.

It took six hour to reach Ames, Iowa from our home base in Chicago. The minutes felt like hours and the hours like days. There was snow on the ground, but the sun was shining brightly. All felt right in the world.

Elwood lives in the Reiman Gardens on the campus of Iowa State University. He’s fifteen feet tall and weighs a whopping 3,500 pounds of pure gnome awesomeness.

We have Wausau, Wisconsin residents, Andy and Connie Kautza, to thank for this record-breaking gnome. Prior to their magnificent creation, a gnome named Chomsky (Gnome Chomsky…har har har) held the record. Chomsky, who resides in an upstate New York miniature golf course, measures a measly thirteen feet and six inches tall.

I couldn’t help but jump for pure unadulterated joy in the presence of Elwood. Since it was winter, there were very few living plants in the garden and even fewer human species. I had Elwood all to myself, just like I wanted him.

I felt the immediate impulse to climb Elwood. Even as a moderately-experienced rock climber, I found Elwood very difficult to summit. It seems that even the largest of gnomes aren’t built with intuitive hand holds and foot ledges.

A second big thanks goes out to my boyfriend and gnome photographer. Not only does he tolerate my gnome obsession, he even encourages it on occasion.

As I squealed and scurried about with anticipation and excitement, he held his fancy camera steady and got some amazing shots of Elwood.

A final thanks goes out to Reiman Gardens, which spent about $8,000 of private-raised funds to have Elwood built at National Rock & Sculpture in Wausau and transported to his current location in 2010. Elwood is composed of two layers of concrete, which includes an iron-welded cage and metal lath. Underneath Elwood’s nine colors of custom-mixed paint, he is painted black to add texture to the creases of the sculpture.

After the initial brouhaha, I settled in a nearby pavilion to spend some quality time with Elwood and reflect upon the day. My plush gnome companion, DJ Spaghetti Sauce, seemed to look up to Elwood like a big brother, although they barely knew each other.

Once you spend a few hours with Elwood and stroll the outdoor trails around the gardens, you should check out the small, enclosed botanical gardens near the entrance. You’ll a pleasant array of native plants and a 2,500-square-foot indoor butterfly habitat. It’s warm inside and the friendly staff loves to tell you about its collection.

As you regretfully make your way back to the parking lot, take a quick peek into the gift shop to see if any smaller gnomes are available to accompany you back home to your own garden. If you have a few hundred dollars to spare, make sure to pick up one of these university-themed gnome replicas, which stand a couple feet tall.

I was actually disappointed to find an utter lack of smaller gnomes in the Reiman Gardens gift shop. The shelves carried a typical fare of locally-made crafts and Christmas ornaments, but ironically, no gnomes.

Consumerism aside, if you find yourself anywhere in the near vicinity of the state of Iowa, make sure to pay Elwood a visit. Even if you’re not as obsessed with gnomes as I am, he makes a great excuse for a road stop pit stop if you’ve already exhausted the college bar and country strip club circuit.

Alyssa v. Nature

Where the nature outside collides with the nature inside