Road Trip Poetry: Haikus and Limericks from the Northeastern U.S.

Posted on October 29, 2013 by alyssa

In an effort to keep the creative side of my brain active during long stretches of road, I decided to write a poem every day (or so) during my last road trip. Short stories take too much time, blog posts become tiresome after awhile, and my Facebook friends don’t care to read every thought going through my head.

To keep things simple, I settled on the haiku and the limerick for poem structures. Let me take you back to junior high creative writing class for just a moment. A Haiku revolves around that odd 5-7-5 syllable structure, juxtaposes two ideas, and throws in a seasonal reference. Limericks have a five-line AABBA rhyme scheme and tend to be on the ridiculous side.

Without schooling you any further, here is my collection of road trip poetry…categorized by city and state. (Reader hint: each paragraph is its own poem!)

Michigan City, Indiana

Jeep in the service bay
On the way to Maine today
Engine light cleared

There once was a gnome driving a Jeep
“The engine light’s on!” he exclaimed with a squeak
Mechanic found a hose was bent

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Bare butts everywhere
Sketching by bikes in the sand
Monkeys on a beach

There once was a monkey from Toronto
I was traveling and he asked, “Hey, can I go?”
We biked through the sand
He said, “I’ll be damned!”
‘Cause that beach required no clothes!

Indian market
Beetle leaves and ice cream cup
Can’t find magic fruit

Toronto traffic
Reminds me too much of home
“Squeeze left,” a sign says

A girl was biking to Scarborough Bluffs
She rode a long way and had enough
Locked her bike to a tree
And scraped up her knee
Falling off the edge feels pretty tough

Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Campfire burning
Old guitar songs sung in French
Sun sets later now

Biking to Mount Royal
Quiet amidst the chaos
Brakes screech, tires swerve

Fine arts museum
Windy day in Montreal
Textured canvas paint

Grand Isle, Vermont

Citronella light
Illuminates ferry boats
Mosquito bites itch

South Hero, Vermont

Roadside antique store
Crafts and creatures on the shelves
Windy twisty roads

There once was a man from South Hero
Where the population’s practically zero
He shopped for antiques
‘Til his bike started to squeak
And he skidded right off the pier. Oh no!

Vineyard concert night
Locals drink and dance along
Sun sets on the vines

There once was a band that played covers
The vineyard lawn full with blankets of lovers
The drummer drank too much wine
Ate some raw grapes off the vine
And was carried off stage by his brothers

Waterbury, Vermont

Vermont tasting day
Cider, cheese, chocolate, ice cream
Rain makes trees greener

Twin Mountain, New Hampshire

Tensions in the air
Tear drops fall like pouring rain
Let’s go get Thai food

Cold beans in a can
Styrofoam instant noodles
Sleeping bags are damp

Rainy campground day
Clothes swirl ’round the washer
Bad TV plays on

KOA pizza
Sketching by campfire light
Internet goes out

Toes dipped in the pool
Soothes itchy ankle bug bites
Dark clouds rolling in

Stir crazy working
Caught up and getting ahead
Rain motivation

North Conway, New Hampshire

There once was a climber from North Conway
He searched for good routes all day Monday
Finally set up some climbs
Mostly 5.8s and 5.9s
A bit scraped and sore, but he’s doing okay

Bar Harbor, Maine

Lobster between bread
Clam chowder and blueberry pie
Rainy day delight

There once was a moose from the state of Maine
He crossed where he wanted, which felt like a game
He ignored the road signs
Was ticketed for his crimes
‘Til he was put behind bars. What a shame!

Lighthouse on the cliff
Bell rings and red light flashes
“Click” goes the shutter

Calm breeze makes ripples
Water droplets splash my skin
Kayak on the lake

Firewood burning
Embers travel toward the sky
A hole in my shoe

Swollen drippy eye
Fishes take revenge on me
Shellfish allergy

Waves crash on the shore
Wind and flies test my balance
Yoga on the rocks

There once was a mosquito from the Harbor of Bar
I swatted him away, but he didn’t go very far
Felt him land on my skin
Sucking blood out again
Screw the tent – I’m sleeping in the car

There was an old hag at the campsite next door
Her dunkies would cry, and she’d scream some more
Tossed a burning log in the air
Bowed my head, said a prayer
Now all I hear are waves on the shore

Parade candy thrown
Lobster races to my gut
Fireworks so bright

Shift gears up the hill
Wipe the sweat, pedal faster
Cycling carriage trails

Gnomeless antique shop
Rusty junk out in the rain
Creepy man peers out

There once was a sand pail on Sand Beach
It used to make castles, now tangled in seaweed
Someone left it behind
Swept away by the tide
Rake and shovel too far out of reach

Portsmouth, Rhode Island

Chicago to Maine
Many stops along the way
Camping from a Jeep

THE END

Dirty Bill’s: A (Sort Of) Gnome-Themed Dive Bar in Austin

Posted on October 23, 2013 by alyssa

Dirty Bill’s would be just like any other dive bar on the map except for one simple fact. It is filled with glossy photographs of a traveling gnome mingling with celebrities.

Tucked away from the blaring live music and pub scene on 6th Street, Dirty Bill’s is a tiny, dark bar in Austin’s Warehouse District. So how did a tourist like me stumble upon it, you ask? Well before I take any trip, I do a quick Google search for “[town name + gnomes].” Other than a couple quirky shops (which I obviously visited also), Dirty Bill’s was the only result I found.

This is the home of the “world famous” gnome, Dirty Bill, but sadly, no one seems to care anymore. I found my way the bar, late on a Saturday afternoon. The bar was empty, and the only sign of life was the bartender half-heartedly cleaning up a pile of puke on the sidewalk by the front door.

The walls were plastered with the most amazing photographs of an obscure variety of celebrities posing with Dirty Bill. This gnome has been held by everyone from Les Claypool to Bill Murray, Modest Mouse, Tony Hawk, Kid Rock, Courtney Love, and Alice Cooper. It seems he’s lived quite the live, considering shots of him getting tattooed, skydiving, and committing various forms of public scandal.

So who exactly is Dirty Bill, how does he get around so much, and why is he just sitting in a glass case right now?

Unfortunately, these questions remain largely unanswered.

After an initial look around, I introduced myself as a “gnome enthusiast” to the bartender, Crystal, and begged my boyfriend to snap as many photos (of the photos) as possible. Crystal seemed wholly uninterested in gnomes, but she was kind enough to entertain my obsession for awhile.

Crystal revealed that one of the owners of the place shared my obsession and had been well-connected in the music industry. She said that Dirty Bill hadn’t traveled anywhere in quite some time and that the owner wasn’t really into it anymore. Most of Dirty Bill’s photos were snapped in the late 90s and early 2000s. Personally, I can’t understand how you can own/work in a bar full of gnomes and NOT be “into it.”

Although Crystal (the only staff member working at the time) didn’t seem to know much about the origins of the gnome or the intentions or whereabouts of the owner, she agreed to let me meet Dirty Bill up close and personal. He was covered in stickers, tattoos, scratches, and other common types of battle scars that gnomes suffer from while traveling. According to the bar’s Facebook page, Dirty Bill began traveling in 1999.

I made few more laps around perimeter to soak up each and every photograph in the bar, which to date, is the only gnome-themed bar I’ve ever been to. What I wouldn’t give to own and operate a gnome bar of my very own!?

If you read reviews of the bar, you’ll see a steady stream of complaints about bad service, impersonal staff, and cramped space. But some locals defend it for its unpretentious vibe and the jukebox.

Internet searches about Dirty Bill yield very few results, and the bar is clearly trying to move away from its gnome theme. They recently replaced the exterior sign, which had a gnome on it, to a dull, black sign that just says “Dirty.” They’re moving away from the name “Dirty Bill’s” entirely, and going for that whole overdone, generic dive bar theme instead. Check out the bar’s website and you’ll be hard pressed to find a gnome.

I left Dirty Bills that hot Texas afternoon with a bittersweet feeling. This bar has so much potential for eclectic patrons, but yet it falls so short. In exchange for $15, Crystal found me one of the last bar tank tops that bore Dirty Bill’s name and illustration (in a men’s large – the only size available.)

Perhaps Dirty Bill’s wasn’t all I’d hope it would be, but I sure am glad to got to meet him before the bar abandons him completely. Although he and I are mere acquaintances at best, I hate to think of him being retired to a storage bin to make room for something far more lame. You’d better bet that I’m keeping tabs on the bar though, because if it ever shuts down, I want first dibs on a couple of those photographs!

Yoga on the Road

Posted on October 16, 2013 by alyssa

I’ve been practicing yoga in random studios and living rooms for well over ten years now. In Chicago, where I spend most of my time, there is certainly no shortage of yoga studios. However, filling my weekly quota of downward dogs is considerably more challenging when living on the road.

I feel the beneficial effects of yoga when I’m traveling even more than I do when hanging around my home base. Trying to sleep on planes makes my neck stiff. Hunching over picnic tables to work at campgrounds makes my back ache. And driving for long stretches of road makes all my joints tense and fatigued. I’ve had my fair share of battles with anxiety, and yoga is one of the few things that brings me back to reality.

Yoga at Stanley Park in Vancouver, B.C.

Much of my travel revolves around active adventure, which has a nasty tendency of making me feel like the age on my driver’s license. Certain yoga positions are better than others when preparing for or recovering from adventures, like rock climbing.

As I have begun to travel more, I’ve struggled to take my yoga practice with me. My yoga mat is bulky, Internet access is sketchy, and classes are expensive. But if there’s a will, there’s a way. And I found a way to practice yoga during my last two extended road trips. Here’s how:

National, State and Local Park Classes

Not surprisingly, my absolutely favorite place to do yoga is in the outdoors. This summer, I stayed on the outskirts of Acadia National Park for about a week and decided to search for outdoor classes in the area. I was excited to discover Yoga in the Park, a low-key community that offers public classes in the park’s most beautiful places.

I recently traveled to Miami and discovered that Bayfront Park offers free yoga classes every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. When I stopped in for a Saturday morning class, I was greeted with a warm welcome, a recommendation to nab a shady spot, and handed a spare mat to use.

Studios and Community Centers in Random Towns

You might be surprised that the po-dunk town you’re staying in for a couple days has a community center that offers fitness classes. It’s a no-brainer; run a quick Google search for yoga classes in the place you’re staying and show up. Maybe the class won’t be as fancy as the ones you frequent back home, but it’ll still get the job done. And if one of your travel goals is to meet like-minded strangers wherever you go, then you just got an added bonus.

Campground Pavilions

Financially, the only way that I can afford to travel so much is by staying in campgrounds. And unless the temperatures drop below 40-degrees, I prefer it that way regardless. I recently camped out in Texas’ Ink’s Lake State Park for a week and got the itch to do some yoga. Considering that the nearest town was a 45-minute drive away, I pulled out my Verizon MiFi and an iPad as an alternative. I am willing abandon my position of shunning technology in the outdoors for the sake of doing yoga.

I swept out the dusty floor of the campground pavilion as best I could, propped the iPad against a post, and pulled up a YouTube video. Again, not surprisingly, I gravitate towards yoga videos that were filmed outdoors. Here are a few good ones I’ve found:

Yoga in Costa Rica

Car Yoga

I came across the article published by the school I studied travel writing at, Matador U, and thought it was pretty creative. Alyssa (no relation) James suggests several yoga pose variations that can be done while sitting in a car on a road trip. Although you certainly won’t get the full effect of mountain pose, pigeon pose, or prayer twist in a seated position, they’re certainly better than nothing. This could easily be translated to “office chair yoga” or “couch yoga.”

I am by no mean an expert at doing yoga on the road, but I am getting better at making it work with each trip that I take. I’ve begun to research travel yoga mats to make my kneeling poses less painful and my carry-on luggage less awkward. As I learn tips and tricks by trials and error, I’ll be sure to share them. It’s time we stop thinking of yoga as a location-restrictive routine and start taking it out on the road!

Climbing the Saco Crag – North Conway, New Hampshire

Posted on October 14, 2013 by alyssa

I’m certainly not the most experienced outdoor climber in the world, but I have made my way to a few crags over the year. There was West Virginia’s New River Gorge, Kentucky’s Red River Gorge, Wisconsin’s Devil’s Lake, and a failed attempt in South Dakota’s Palisades.

Rubbing a climbing gnome for good luck

Well I’ve added one more outdoor location to the list, but it was considerably more empty and more difficult to find. Since I’m not all that confident on bolt anchor setting, my outdoor climbing ventures are restricted to wherever I can hike to the top and anchor down to trees and boulders.

Before traveling to New Hampshire, I stumbled upon Joe Lyon’s blog, The Pursuit of Life. He offered pleasantly relevant advice about good top rope routes in the area and suggested the north end of Cathedral Ledge, Humphrey’s Ledge area of the Saco Crag, and Pinkham Notch at Square Ledge.

One of my first stops in New Hampshire was the White Mountain National Forest Visitor Center, where I took iPhone photos of a few key pages from a climbing guide book. Unlike in some climbing destinations, the guidebook didn’t seem all the helpful, so I really didn’t feel like making an investment in one.

I first hiked the Square Ledge Trail in search of “Chimney Route” and “The Brain”(coordinates 44.256774 – 71.245654), which Joe’s blog promised me. After a moderate hike, I found the climbing area and saw a bolt on the side of the rock. However, there were no natural anchors to tie into and there were no other climbers around to ask for advice.

My next stop was Saco Crag (coordinates 44.095537 – 71.168833). Even with notes from various climbing websites and photos of the guidebook pages, I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to figure out where the routes were. Plenty of tree anchors were around, but where were the routes on this slab of rock?

Thank goodness for occasional yoga

While driving along West Side Road in North Conway, you can totally zip past the climbing area and not even know it. The crag is tucked away in the woods and there’s a dirt pullout area on the side opposite the river. If you’re around during summertime, you’ll know the area when you see people putting kayaks and tubes in the Saco River on the other side.

You’ll look up and ask yourself, “is that really the way to the crag?” And the answer is yes. A two-minute, steep, and dirty hike takes you to the promised land.

After finally settling on what I believed the V-Groove route (a 5.8) to be, I set up to climb routes #2, 3, and 4. These were 5.8 and 5.9 rated climbs that looked fairly reasonable. V-Groove was a crack climb on the right side that was trickier than I expected. There’s supposedly 18 routes on this wall, but they’re situated pretty close together and it’s hard to tell what’s what.

Some of the routes were totally overgrown, so I spent my mid-climb rest time swatting away moss, branches, bees, spiders, and spider webs. I never encountered a single other groups of climbers at Saco Crag (or any of the others supposed climbing areas I’d previously checked out) during my entire visit.

Hey New Hampshire climbers: where are you?!

Although my experience of climbing in New Hampshire was more about searching for routes than actual climbing them, it did feel great to get back up on some rock. Even though I visited New Hampshire during the heat of late June, Saco Crag was cool and shady, with a nearby river to take a dip in as well.

From what I’ve read, climbing is a “thing” in New Hampshire, but I do wonder how many climbers are making good use of all that granite. If anyone has climbed in the area, I’d love to hear from you so I can plan my next northeastern climbing adventure a little more effectively.

Thanks New Hampshire, I enjoyed your rocks and hope to see them again soon.

Meeting Gnome Chomsky: The World’s Second Largest Concrete Gnome

Posted on October 11, 2013 by alyssa

Perhaps you recall my semi-recent article about visiting the world’s largest concrete gnome in Ames, Iowa. As I road-tripped through the Northeastern United States in July, I decided it was only fair to introduce myself to the world’s second largest concrete gnome as well. His name is Gnome Chomsky and he lives at Kelder’s Farm in upstate New York.

Welcomed by farm fresh flowers

Standing at 13-feet, 6-inches tall, Chomsky held the Guinness World Record for “world’s tallest garden gnome” for four years. Since that time, Chomsky has been “out-talled” by 15-foot Elwood in Iowa and a 17-foot, 8 inch fiberglass gnome in Poland. Competition aside, Chomsky was absolutely stunning.

Kelder’s Farm is a 100-acre working farm that sells seasonal fruits and vegetables, runs a mini-golf course, features a petting zoo, and offers educational tours for children. The farm also gives visitors the opportunity to milk a cow, enjoy a hayride, navigate a corn maze, and explore a greenhouse.

Me & Gnome Chomsky

Chomsky has become famous on popular travel sites like Roadside America and Atlas Obscura. Believe it or not, Chomsky was born in New York City. Artists Maria Reidelbach, Ken Brown, and John Hutchinson built him while renovating another mini-golf course. That course closed, and in 2006, Chomsky was moved up to Kelder’s Farm in Kerhonkson, New York. “Kerhonkson needed something big and wonderful to draw attention to this beautiful part of Ulster County,” said Reidelbach, “and Kelder’s Farm is such an authentic, welcoming place, I thought a traditional, friendly, roadside colossus would be just the thing.”

The fame, the fortune

After spending some quality time with Chomsky and coercing my boyfriend into taking dozens of photos, I ventured inside the barn to check out the gift shop. You can find everything from gnome t-shirts to postcards and temporary tattoos amongst the produce. Since Chomsky is no longer a world record holder, the clever folks at Kelder’s Farm have started referring to him the the “First World’s Largest Garden Gnome and the “World’s Cutest Gnome.” I must admit, he is considerably cuter than his Midwestern counterpart!

Kelder’s gift shop

So if you ever find yourself traveling through upstate New York, I would definitely suggest stopping by Kelder’s Farm to visit Gnome Chomsky and play a round of mini-golf. And if you can’t make it out that way, at least you can keep up with him on Facebook. Yes, Chomsky has his own Facebook page!

Changing My Perception of Texas: Inks Lake State Park

Posted on October 9, 2013 by alyssa

George Bush worshipers, gun lovers, religious fanatics, pickup truck drivers, corrupt oil tycoons.

Those are a few of the Texas stereotypes I brought with me to Inks Lake State Park last month. I forgot about all of them by the end of the week.

Campsite #87

After trolling the San Antonio-to-Austin circuit for the second time, I ventured a bit off the beaten path to explore some lesser-known parts of the Lone Star State. Inks Lake State Park is within a two-hour drive from both cities, and just north of Longhorn Cavern State Park.

The park takes up 1,201 acres along the Colorado River and has been open to the public since 1950. We chose this campground over nearby Pedernales Falls State Park because of the tent site area and the Internet situation. If I didn’t make a living working at campgrounds, I would shun Internet access entirely. But alas, something has to fund the nightly fees (which were about $20 per night, by the way).

Cliff jumpers at Devil’s Waterhole

My absolute favorite places to camp are next to flowing water. We were able to secure a campsite next to the lake for the week, which was mighty convenient for frequent kayaking. Since we have an inflatable kayak, a trip on the water usually entails about 15 minutes of hand pumping. However, our Inks Lake campsite had enough space to leave the kayak sit out inflated each day.

Check out the campsites between space 85 and 91. These have lots of space and nice sunset views, although they tend to get crowded with RVs during peak times. There’s some small, but cutesy, looking cabins a few yards away too if you’re a little less hardcore.

Island picnic via kayak

Although the lake isn’t enormous, there are a few good kayak routes to check out. One leads to Devil’s Waterhole, where low-key thrill-seekers take turns cliff jumping. There’s also a small island off the coast of the pavilion on the northeast end of the park. This is a great place to kayak to for a secluded lunch or swim to, if you’re not worried about your feet touching the ground.

There’s really only one hiking trail inside the park boundaries, and that’s the Pecan Flats Trail. There are some unexpectedly nice vista points along the trail and a good number of cacti to scope out. Parts of the trail are severely overgrown, so you might have to turn around and head back if the insects are driving you nuts. Take a look at this trail guide to brush up on plants you’ll see along the way.

One of the coolest part about the Texas State Parks is the free fishing. Never have I encountered another recreational area that lends you fishing poles and tackle for free. As someone who occasionally (and impatiently) dips a pole in the water but who has never actually caught a fish, “free” is essential.The park staff isn’t all that concerned about you keeping the gear for a few days either. I was simply asked to bring the pole back at the end of the week when I check out. The park general store sells live bait for a few dollars, as well as souvenirs and snacks.

That general store also rents out kayaks, canoes, and paddleboats by the hour for about $15-20. Since we have our own kayak, we decided to take a paddleboat out on day for a lunch break from work. There’s no way around it – paddleboats are really dumb. However I justified the experience by smuggling a couple beers on board and declaring the peddling to be an adequate leg workout for the day.

I felt simultaneously more work-productive and more relaxed at Inks Lake State Park than anywhere else in a long time. Since I’ve returned home to my home base in Chicago, I haven’t been able to find anywhere near the motivation or focus I had while working and playing here. Not only was Inks Lake a breath of fresh air for my confidence and my state of mind, but it was also instrumental in changing my perception about the state ofTexas.

Whip In: Austin’s One-Stop Brewery/Indian Restaurant/Concert Venue/Grocery Store

Posted on October 4, 2013 by alyssa

I can’t think of another single place in the world that combines the best aspects of craft beer, Indian food, live music, and grocery shopping. Whip In does exactly that, and does it pretty well.

Roadside sign

My boyfriend, who happens to be Indian, and I came across Whip In’s website while searching for breweries to sample in the Austin area. We were intrigued at the unlikely combination of Texas comfort food, traditional Indian food, and craft beer. From what I understand, Indians aren’t exactly known for their breweries.

The Travel Channel’s Andrew Zimmern even did a little piece on the place, however, I don’t feel he does it justice. Sorry to call you out, buddy, it’s going to take more than footage of your chewing to convince me of Whip In’s awesomeness.

Scoping out the menu

Back in 1986, the owners, Amrit and Chandan Topiwala, bought a convenience store in the Travis Heights Neighborhood and made a living off the gas pumps and B-movie selection.

For whatever reason, beer sales began to outweigh gas sales and priorities were shifted.

Texan-Indian Cuisine and Brews

The convenience store was transformed into a dhaba (traditional Indian/Pakistani roadside restaurant) pub with a full kitchen and homemade brew house. The menu features a mind-boggling fusion of Texan comfort food and authentic Gujarati cuisine. And since it’s in Austin, Whip In practically had no choice but to service local and organic fruits, vegetables, and meats.

Whip In is big on brunch and it has a big section for it on the menu. We settled on a combo dhaba bowl with chana masala, masoor dal, and Zambian corn. We also got an appetizer of samosas and a follow-up entree of dal sliders. With their warm naan, spinach, and mushrooms, the dal sliders were definitely my favorite pick.

Namaste Brewing

Appropriately, Whip In calls its in-house brew house, Namaste Brewing. They had a surprisingly number of beers, although several of the taps had run dry before we showed up.

You can order a sampler of four beers for $10, and we did exactly that. Our picks were the Brahmale, Sitas Revenge, Austinerveisse, and Vishnavi Triple.

Outside seating space

Brahmale = postcolonial IPA made w/goodflow honey, grapefruit peel & lemongrass 9.5%abv
Sitas = french saison made w/striselspalt&aramis hops 6.5%abv
Austinerveisse = berlinerveisse style german sour wheat made w/peaches 4.5%abv
Vishnavi = strong triple brew I seem to have misplaced my notes on

Feast time!

Nearly all the beers on tap were high in alcohol content, with 8% and 9% being totally common. I must admit, the combination of strong beer and strong flavors did do a number on my unsuspecting stomach after awhile.

Rambler Rose

For a Saturday night, Whip In was busy, crowded, and a little chaotic. As a first timer, I was a little overwhelmed trying to wrap my head around this place. Fortunately, we found a seat at the bar, so there was no wait time. If you aren’t so fortunate, you can push your way to the back and browse the couple aisles of groceries that seem wonderfully out-of-place. The owners have traded in their convenience store snacks for hippie fair like tofu-turkey and Tom’s Natural Toothpaste.

Namaste, ya’ll!

Whip In has indoor and outdoor seating, and each space has its own stage. Rambler Rose, featuring a 8 1/2 month pregnant lead singer/percussionist, took the stage while we were finishing up our dinner.

Whip In definitely offers a unique dining/drinking/listening/shopping experience you can’t find anywhere else. Upon first impression, the spot seems to be a bit all over the board, and unable to decide what it is and what it wants to be when it grows up. But whatever it is, I like it. And I hope to visit another place like it some day.

Pre-Shutdown Weekend at Padre Island National Seashore

Posted on October 2, 2013 by alyssa

Tent site above the beach

Undoubtedly, there are thousands of blog posts flying around in a political uproar over the federal government shutdown. Although there’s a political science degree hanging on my wall, this is not a political blog and it never will be.

But as I sit here on Shutdown Day 2, one particular closure hits close to home.

Sunset stroll

I spent last weekend at Padre Island National Seashore near Corpus Christi, Texas. I packed up for home on Monday, as scheduled, which happened to be the day before the Shutdown. I must admit I’m having a hard time believing that the beautiful place that I called home for four days is now barricaded and vacant.

Pavilion setup – #24

I wish I could provide you with a link to the campground I stayed at, but as with all of the national parks, the Padre Island website has been replaced with this ominous closure message:

Due to the lapse in appropriated funds, all public lands managed by the Interior Department (National Parks, National Wildlife Refuges, Bureau of Land Management facilities, etc.) will be closed. For more information, FAQs, and updates, please visit www.doi.gov/shutdown.

Malaquite campground

So until those idiots pull their heads out of their asses, I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Malaquite Campground is the main campground inside the national seashore boundaries, and it’s situated along the dunes of the Gulf of Mexico.

It’s a semi-primitive campground with fifty sites: eight are tent-only and twenty-six can accommodate RVs. You can’t make advance reservations here, so you have to take your chances and show up to see what’s available.

Sites cost $8 per night here, but you do have the “luxury” of flush toilets and cold-water pump showers. In actuality, these are the most luxurious campsites because the other camping areas have zilch for amenities.

Bird!

The best place to kayak is Bird Island, but head to the windsurfing area and not the boat launch. You can put in anywhere along the shallow shore, and the waves are much calmer than over at Malaquite.

You can also camp over here at Bird Island, which has a couple pit toilets and a kayak rental shop, but not much else. Be prepared to shell out $5 at the front gate to do any of the above at Bird Island.

If you’re looking for a deal, you can camp for free at North Beach, but you’re pretty far from the facilities if you’re shy about pooping outside. It’s also totally acceptable to drive ON the beach, so your tent could very well come in contact with a Ford F-150.

Footsteps in sand

When I asked a park ranger for hiking suggestions, I was reminded that there are seventy miles of undeveloped coastline to tread along. Silly me. Turns out, this was my favorite part of the park. The sand wasn’t too hot, the waves refreshing, the beaches uncrowded, and the water clean(ish).

Apparently, there are 380 species of birds here, but I can’t recall seeing more than four or five. You can find lots of crabs in the sand and along the shore here. They come in a variety of colors and sizes, and I even had the pleasure of chasing one of out of my shower with a flashlight!

Crab!

There’s no denying that the mosquitoes were horrendous. Spray yourself with insect repellent ’til it seeps from your pores, but it won’t even make a difference. It’s also crazy windy here, especially when setting up a tent, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Rogue tree in the gulf

Padre Island National Seashore felt like one of the last undeveloped places of its kind. It could have easily turned into another Miami Beach, with sprawling hotels, cocktail bars, and tourist shops.

However, this place was a true example of nature at its finest. To me, there are few finer things in life than waking up on the sand to the sounds of crashing waves and the first rays of morning light.

Political commentary aside, I truly hope that this and the other national parks will be reopened soon so we can continue having these experiences and loving the good parts of our country.

Sunset on Padre Islanad

The First (of Several) Texas State Parks: McKinney Falls, South Austin

Posted on September 24, 2013 by alyssa

When choosing a campground, you can usually go one of two ways: private or government. State and federal park campgrounds tend to be cheaper, but often at the expense of no privacy and no amenities (i.e. Internet). Private campgrounds come with a higher price tag, but often aren’t tucked away in the most beautiful places.

Camp site #15

However, McKinney Falls State Park proved to be a little bit of the best of both worlds. Located in South Austin, this 726-acre park has been open to the city-dwelling public since 1976. It’s named after Thomas F. McKinney, who was one of Texas’s first colonists and made a fortune off of racehorse breeding, flour mill production, and slave labor.

Spiders as neighbors

Campsites range from $15 for walk-ins to $24 for spaces with water and 50-amp electric. The sites book up fast, even after Labor Day, so we secured the very last one for the weekend. All the sites are separated from each other pretty well, so you won’t feel cramped next to neighbors with monstrous RVs.

We were initially worried about camping the first night because it was raining, there were flood warnings, and the campground is near Onion Creek. However, each site has a “tent pit” that’s outlined with logs and we didn’t experience a single pool of water. Some sites shade trees and others have none, so choose wisely based on your tendency to sunburn.

Hiking trail map

The campsites have a wide open feel and there are plenty of cactus to make you feel like you’re camping in the desert. There are a couple visitor centers in the park and the staff will kindly talk your ear off if you let them. The grounds are incredibly well-maintained for a government facility and I had no complaints about the shops, bathrooms, or site grounds.

We went hiked a few of the McKinney trails, which are okay or biking but definitely better for hiking. Since “hill country” isn’t really all that hilly, the trails are pretty easy but still scenic. One pit stop along the way is “Old Baldy,” which is a 500 year old, 103-foot tall cypress tree along the trail.

There are two waterfalls, upper and lower falls, that are easy to get to and worth a stop. They aren’t very tall, but gazing into a waterfall is always relaxing, regardless of their magnitude. Due to recently heavy rains, we weren’t able cross over the falls and access the other side of the trails.

Suspicious footprints

Texas state parks don’t require a fishing license to fish and much to my surprise, they loan out fishing poles for free. It’s a totally laid back transaction and some locations even have fake bait to give out too. We settled on an inopportune fishing spot under some shade trees and spent more time untangling the the line than actually casting out. It was a learning experience, that’s for sure.

One of the coolest things about McKinney Falls was its proximity to Austin. It was only about a twenty minute drive from downtown, which made it easy to sightsee during the day and camp at night. However, I never felt like I was right outside a large city while I was camping here: no traffic noise, no bright lights, and plenty of nature in all directions.

Tangled in fishing line

My final recommendation is to spring for a Texas State Park Pass if you’re going to camp for more than a couple days. It sucks parting with $70, but it starts saving you money on about day #3 of camping. The pass gets you out of paying the $6+ daily park fee, gives you 50% off your second night at any state campground, and gives you 10% off any supplies you buy at their stores.

Before this trip, beautiful parks were the last thing that came to mind when I thought of Texas. Believe it or not, there are 93 state parks here, and I look forward to visiting as many of them as possible during my trip.

Brew-Fueled Serenity Outside Austin: The Jester King

Posted on September 22, 2013 by alyssa

If you want a good brewery recommendation, ask a guy running the food truck. Anyone who’s been to Austin knows there are a ton of breweries in the area. But since most their brews don’t make it across the Texas border, it’s hard narrowing down your options if you’re only got a few days.

The Jester King

I recently tagged along to my boyfriend’s conference outing in San Antonio and found myself waiting for free grub in food truck lines outside the Alamo. To pass the time, we struck up a conversation with a friendly food truck guy about local brews, and promptly received a recommendation for the Jester King.

Although I visited Austin a couple years prior, I wasn’t as obsessed with breweries then as I am not. So we took his suggestion and ran with it…all the way to brew retreat bliss.

Patiently waiting for beer

The Jester King is as “out in the middle of nowhere” as you can expect with an Austin city zip code. The roads leading to it are hilly, and it’s a surprisingly scenic drive.

After initially missing the entrance and turning around in a ditch, we spotted the unassuming sign that leads down a ranch-style road. This ranch, however, is filled with rows of cars instead of livestock, and it looks like it will be really busy from the parking lot.

Testing the taste buds

You’ll pass by Stanley’s Farmhouse pizza, which is worth a stop, but do yourself a favor and find beer first. The brew house on the hill looks huge, but the tasting room is actually pretty quaint. It’s just a bar, with no place to sit and no tables to lean on.

But the service is great, and the guys working bar are both friendly and know their stuff. The parking lot led me to believe I’d be waiting in a long line for a taste and shouting over a crowded bar to put my order in. Although the tasting room had a steady stream of tasters, it was a far cry from annoying or cramped.

Tree top chandelier

I still can’t stop raving about Black Metal. It’s a Russian imperial stout, and it weighs in at a whopping 9.3%. The beer has a predictable black-brown color, strong aspects of chocolate, peppery overtones, and a hint of coffee accents. It’s strong, it’s smooth, and it has a warming boozy mouth feel from start to finish. I had a sample, then a pint, and finally a bottle to go. Yep, it was that good.

My second favorite brew was Mad Meg, which is a saison farmhouse ale and golden in color. Apparently Mad Meg was a peasant woman from Flemish folklore who led an army of women to pillage hell. While that’s pretty hardcore, the beer was pleasantly smooth with citrus influences, herbal spices, and an aftertaste unique to this type of beer.

Mmm…pizza goes in here

Otherwise, I tried the Noble King and the Wytchmaker, neither of which left a lasting impression, and Boxer’s Revenge, which was far too sour for my taste. I understand that sour beers are the new rage with the “kids” these days, but I can’t manage to jump on the sour bandwagon just yet.

Although I was a big fan of Jester King’s beers, I fell in love with their brewery set up even more. In my opinion, this is what a brewery should be: plenty of outdoor seating space, laid back vibe, a stage for live music, simple food on site, manageable crowds, and a festive atmosphere that makes you never want to leave.

As the sun began to set, chandeliers hung from tree branches lit up to illuminate picnic tables scattered through the rolling hills. The brewery was run well, without being pretentious, family-friendly, without crawling with kids, and situated in a peaceful atmosphere that temps you to be social.

Devour in 3…2…1…

I should also mention that Jester King, as well as most of Austin, is really dog-friendly. Dogs aren’t only tolerated here, but they are expected and admired. Dog ownership sounds a lot more manageable to me if you can bring your pooch to the pub.

We ordered a pizza at Stanley’s before they closed at 9pm; it came out quick and although it wasn’t huge, it was pretty delicious. Softly playing classic rock radio provided the accompaniment, but apparently they sometimes host live music on Saturday nights. If you like Jester King’s labels, which are pretty clever, you can pick up a poster print of one for $20 to $25.

On the drive back to the campground from Jester King, I started pondering how different some breweries are from one another. As I mentioned, ones like this always rock my socks off. But the footwear of other brew fanatics probably flies off at the sight of warehouse district or gastropub competition.

I’ll save that debate for another article (coming soon!) and continue riding the wave of Black Metal and the mellow vibe I took with me from the Texas countryside.

Alyssa v. Nature

Where the nature outside collides with the nature inside